I was in an abusive relationship for five and a half years. At the time, I didn’t know what abuse was. It took until our daughter was born for someone to point out what abuse was and what was going on.

I realized that’s what I felt like. I felt really low in myself, like no motivation.

Social Services got involved, which was quite upsetting to be honest, but they helped me to see that I needed support, and they suggested I get in touch with Better Start.

The people at Better Start asked me to come along to their dad’s group so I could meet new people.

At first, I wasn’t that keen. I think it was more out of fear of the unknown, more than anything, stepping out of my comfort zone. But when I got there, I was alright. I made friends - got talking, as you do.

I went back every week after that.

It was there I met Gary, a Better Start Community Connector.

Gary told me about his role as a Community Connector and he explained about some of the other Better Start programmes that I could access. Just knowing that there was further support available - I started to feel a bit more relaxed.

After I’d been attending the Dad’s Group a while, I decided to become a volunteer for ‘Dad’s for Life’. I did a few weeks, but then Covid hit and everything got knocked on the head.

Luckily, we all kept in contact with one another. You know, like through the phone and texting. Asking things like, “how are you finding the pandemic?” - things like that.

When lockdown ended, I started volunteering with the Park Rangers, and going to gardening sessions. That was my stepping stone into getting a job with Better Start.

Now I’m a dad’s connector just like Gary.

My main job is to try and engage with dads and get them together to talk and share ideas.

It’s tough to get people to come along to a group at first, especially for dads who work nine to five. Plus, there’s so many other things to worry about.

As a dad myself, and as someone who has struggled with my mental health, as so many people do, I know it’s pride that makes you not want to go, but in my experience, you’ll feel better if you do. And now we’ve set up a Saturday dad’s club as well, there’s nothing to stop you.

But it goes beyond that.

Say if one of the dads needs to go to Citizen’s Advice, or if they have an appointment somewhere that they need a bit of support with, I’ll go with them. It’s like a buddy system I suppose.

There was one dad I worked with who just didn’t know how to support his baby. He said it made him feel like he wasn’t a good enough father to his children.

But I told him about our parenting course, so he went along. It gave him loads of tips on how he could do things a bit differently, and that helped him massively. Since then, it’s been brilliant to see him grow in confidence.

Being involved with Better Start gave me my confidence back too. It’s made me feel safe and comfortable again within myself.

And knowing that my help has contributed to other men becoming better dads and a better support to their partners makes me feel good.